


Break

by Master_Magician



Category: Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24463462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Master_Magician/pseuds/Master_Magician
Summary: Right then, Tifa had a strange sensation pass through her body. She'd never felt it before, but it was almost as if she felt something deep within her mind snap and… break.
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough/Cloud Strife, Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart, Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Comments: 10
Kudos: 69





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Think it's been a while since I did one quite like this in any fandom. Not going to lie, this will be dark and potentially unpleasant. Just warning everyone in advance. Honestly, I fully expect it not to go over very well like several of my other Final Fantasy VII remake works, but I can't bring myself to write a cheerful/happy one right now.
> 
> It's as they say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Well, when life gives you yet another horrible multi day depression episode, you make dark fanfiction.
> 
> Enjoy.

Tifa knew from the beginning, from that moment she and the others set out to confront Sephiroth, that not all of them would be returning home. Of course, this was assuming any of them survived. The entire journey, she prepared herself for this, even going so far as to make peace with the possibility of her own death.

Out of all of them, it was Aerith's death that she was least prepared for.

That moment when she and Cloud together lowered the flower girl's body into the water was seared into Tifa's brain for the rest of her days. Not just her days, either. Many nights she had to relive that moment within her dreams. As if losing Aerith wasn't torment enough.

The last saving grace remaining for Tifa was Cloud. While everyone had been close to Aerith, it was Cloud and Tifa who were above all others. It was only because of him, that Tifa held on. This, and how she knew Aerith would want all of them to live long and happy lives.

Yes, they were both devastated immeasurably, but in each other they found a kinship that gave Tifa the strength she so desperately needed. The pair's bond was already solid, but through their mutual loss, it grew stronger.

It was a funny thing, really. They both knew what the other truly wanted. Both longed for the fallen flower girl, yet neither could have her, life had seen to that. Cloud and Tifa instead made do with each other, the pair searching for any scrap of comfort, comfort that they'd only been able to find in each other.

Tifa had lost count of the sheer number of times she'd woken up in the middle of the night calling Aerith's name, only to remember she was gone and never coming back. Cloud wouldn't say a word, simply hold her in his arms and rock her back and forth as she cried her eyes out. A normal partner might complain or grow jealous, but Cloud would never do that. Besides, there had been many a time he had done the same, and Tifa was left to hold and comfort him, instead.

They didn't have her, but they had each other, and that was what they made do with.

Keep living day by day and maybe, just maybe, they could both heal and recover given enough time. That was what Cloud and Tifa repeated to each other several times a day.

This belief lasted right up until the day Cloud was forcibly ripped from Tifa's life as well.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the sound of the bedside alarm, Tifa groaned and shut it up with a good solid whack. Better her than Cloud, the mercenary had already broken two, they didn't need yet another replacement.

Speaking of Cloud…

"Cloud?" Tifa groggily wiped the sleep from her bleary eyes. Another night of restless sleep wasn't helping her health or mood any, but it wasn't like there was much she could do about it at this point.

After receiving no answer, Tifa quickly tried to blink the sleep from her eyes. Usually he was awake before her, his sleeping patterns being even more twisted up than hers, but Cloud was nowhere to be found.

It was unlike him to rise and just leave without at least making sure she was up. He'd been doing so for the last several months they'd shared this apartment.

Now fully awake, and panic rising in her chest, Tifa leapt to her feet to survey the room. Cloud's sword was gone, his other gear nowhere in sight, either. He didn't have any jobs scheduled for today, instead he'd reserved it to help her clean up at her rebuilt bar.

Cloud would never take a job without telling her, just like she never went anywhere without telling him. To the outside observer, they might seem like a clingy couple, but truth be told they liked it this way. This wasn't clinginess, but rather a desperate fear about the others safety.

Putting the pieces together, and with an unhealthy dose of paranoia, Tifa came up with only a single logical conclusion.

Cloud never came home last night.

More accurately, Cloud never came home from his last job the previous night.

It was supposed to be a simple affair. A wererat nest a little too close to the sector 7 slums. The kind of threat Cloud would be able to handle in his sleep with both arms tied behind his back. For this very reason, Cloud neglected to bring anyone with him. Tifa had offered, rush hour at the bar be damned, but he'd insisted he would be alright.

Tifa had full faith in Cloud's abilities and determination, but that didn't stop the feeling of utter dread that welled up in Tifa's chest at the myriad of possibilities of how things could have gone wrong.

Tifa was so riled up that she didn't even bother changing from her nightclothes before she was sprinting out the door and flying down the stairs.

It was early morning, but sector 7 had its fair share of early risers. Pausing only a few seconds on each unlucky enough to cross her path, Tifa questioned them about Cloud's whereabouts.

"Ain't seen 'em since yesterday."

"The merc? Nope."

"Nah."

"Nope."

Each dismissal fed the terror gnawing at Tifa's very soul. With no other recourse left, Tifa continued her impromptu quest out of the slums, blowing past the gate guards like a typhoon. They tried to call out to her, ask what was going on, but Tifa didn't hear them.

It would help if she knew the exact location of the nest, but Cloud hadn't either. His job was to locate the damn thing, then deal with it. If Tifa was fortunate, he would have left a trail of wererat corpses to follow. Luckily for her, the man had a habit of leaving a mess behind when he fought.

There was so much ground to cover, Tifa didn't know where to start, so she literally picked a random direction and ran.

It never occurred to her how foolish it was to come out here without her gear or even decent clothes. A loose tank top and a pair of short shorts were not very fitting clothes for a trip through Scrap Boulevard. This was before taking into account her bare feet.

For the first time in recent memory, Tifa's luck worked out, and she caught sight of a number of dead wererats. While this was not out of place, the sword wounds on their small bodies was.

Just as she'd been hoping, there was a trail of bodies.

Quickening her pace, and after counting as she moved, Tifa's panic rose. The nest was supposed to be small, a dozen, maybe two, at most. It wasn't that dangerous, but leaving a nest like this so close could spell absolute disaster if left unchecked for too long. Destroy it now before it really did become a deadly threat.

Shockingly, there was not just a couple dozen dead wererats that Tifa found. She was already up to forty, and that number continued to rise.

Fifty…

Sixty…

Never in Tifa's life had she seen a nest this size. She never even imagined they could grow that large. It couldn't have been new, but how the hell did the watch only find out about it recently?

It didn't matter, Tifa decided. Cloud had probably already taken care of it, now she just had to find her wayward merc and give him the scolding of a lifetime or two for making her worry so mu…

"CLOUD!" Tifa saw him at last, or rather, she saw part of him.

Sticking out of a huge pile of dead wererats was an arm and what appeared from a distance to be the blade of a very familiar sword.

Tifa blinked and she was already at the pile, frantically seizing hold of the dead, and more than a few charred, creatures and shoving them away as fast as her arms could move. They weren't very heavy, but dear planet was there a lot of them. She'd never seen so many at once, either.

Tifa only dared breathe when she dug enough and found Cloud's arm still attached to the man. Once she'd cleared enough, her fingers went to his neck in search of a pulse.

It was only after she found it that Tifa sucked in a badly needed breath.

"I gotcha, Cloud." Tifa took hold of Cloud beneath his arms and finally pried him loose and out of the pile. "I got you, you're going to be…"

Taking in Cloud's appearance, Tifa's blood ran cold.

The SOLDIER uniform was torn and ripped in many places, wounds from tiny claws and teeth covered his body. At least, thanks to his enhancements, most of said wounds had already scabbed over and stopped bleeding. This didn't help much with the sheer amount of blood that had already soaked into his clothes and the surrounding monsters.

Most sickening, was Cloud's arm. It looked like some of the wererats had bitten large chunk of his flesh out but, judging by the burn marks, Cloud must have cauterized these for some reason, probably with his fire magic. Why didn't he use his healing materia, instead?

The mental image of the wererats biting into Cloud and not letting go, forcing Cloud to burn them off came to mind.

"Cloud?" Tifa leaned over him, hand feeling his cheek. He was pale, far too pale for Tifa's liking, his skin cold and clammy. He was breathing, but each breath was labored and shallow.

Another terrible thought came just then. Wererats were filthy creatures, and they lived in filthier conditions. Cloud's injuries might already be infected by whatever nastiness lurked unseen around them. Tifa was no doctor, so she wasn't entirely sure how fast an infection could set in, but it was a possibility that couldn't be ignored.

She needed to get him back to the slums, and fast.

Walking back was out of the question for Cloud, so Tifa was simply going to have to carry him. A quick glance at the sword in Cloud's hand and Tifa made up her mind on that front.

"Sorry." Tifa knew Cloud would understand as she pried the handle of the sword from his clenched fingers. Even unconscious and badly injured, he didn't want to let the precious memento get away from him. With the weapon left aside, Tifa moved her hands over Cloud's body in attempt to figure out the best way to carry him.

It was hard with Cloud out cold, but Tifa managed it.

"Okay, Cloud. Upsy-daisy." Tifa grunted with exertion as she lifted the mercenary up onto her back. Slinging his arms around her neck, she took hold of his legs beneath the knees. When she did so, she felt the way the bone shifted in his right leg. Again, Tifa was no expert, but she was able to recognize a broken leg when she felt one.

Tifa added another note to the mental list of Cloud's injuries, but until she got him back there wasn't squat that could be done about it.

Cloud would undoubtably complain about being carried, but Tifa didn't want to imagine the pain he would have been in if he had been awake right now. While the fear gnawed at her while he was unconscious, part of her was secretly grateful. Let him sleep while she agonizingly jostled him in her haste to get him back to town.

Thank the planet no monsters appeared to block her way. While she could have fought, she didn't like the idea of doing so in her state of dress while carrying Cloud.

Tifa was almost back to town when her luck ran dry. She had just passed the gate to the sector 7 slums when the exhaustion and fatigue began to catch up to her. She was already running on empty due to lack of sleep, add in the mental exertion of worry for Cloud, sprinkle some physical exertion of carrying Cloud, and Tifa felt like she might pass out soon if she didn't stop soon.

Yet, Tifa would not, could not, stop. Not until she'd brought Cloud somewhere safe to tend to his injuries. Tifa would rest then, and only then.

Tifa had been away in her search long enough for most of the sector to awaken. The hustle and bustle of the crowds was going to slow her down when she, and by extension Cloud, could least afford it.

Tifa wished she had the energy to scream at people quit their damn gawking and move!

"Tifa!" Jessie came running up, with Biggs in tow. The woman's eyes went wide in alarm when she saw who Tifa carried. "Wha…"

Biggs made the mistake of trying to take Cloud of Tifa's hands, but he instantly relented when faced with the vicious leer she sent his way. Tifa didn't care how bad of shape she was in, no one was taking Cloud away from her. She would be the one to carry him.

"Clear way!" Jessie yelled, a large part of the crowd dispersing already.

"Get lost!" Biggs was about ready to start shoving people aside, but they moved of their own accord.

With Biggs and Jessie clearing the way, Tifa made it back to the bar quicker than she hoped. Tifa was grateful they weren't going the original Seventh Heaven, those stairs would have been near impossible with the way her legs were already wobbling.

"What the hell happened?" Barret was standing in the doorway holding it open while Tifa trudged through.

Tifa didn't answer as she carried Cloud to the bar and moved to lay him down. To her shame, she found she didn't have the strength to do it. To her horror, she also realized she was about to drop Cloud onto the floor.

"Whoa." Barret caught the slipping Cloud with his hand before he could fall. "I gotcha. Biggs!"

Biggs was already rushing over before Barret even opened his mouth, and between the two of them, they easily laid Cloud onto the wooden surface. Beside them, Tifa's legs finally gave out and she fell to the floor. At least she would have, if Jessie hadn't of helped her into one of the barstools a second before she did.

"Cloud… hurt bad…" Tifa wheezed, her entire body shaking. "Help…"

To Tifa's dismay, no one did anything. They all just stood there looking anywhere but at Cloud or Tifa.

"Tifa…" Jessie's breath hitched as the woman's hand found Tifa's shoulder. "Deep breaths, okay?"

Tifa didn't need deep breaths, she needed someone to help Cloud while he could still be helped! Why the hell wasn't anyone doing anything!

After too many seconds of everyone's inaction, Tifa resolved she'd do it herself. Forcing herself to stand by sheer willpower alone, Tifa used the bar to support herself as she made her way closer to Cloud.

"Tifa, stop!" Biggs moved to intercept her, and Tifa tried to shove him away, but it was like pushing on a steel wall. "You have to…"

"Help… Cloud…" Tifa reached past Biggs, but Cloud was too far. Her fingers could almost reach his ripped shirt. If she could only get another inch…

"Tifa…" Barret never used that voice around them, only with Marlene. Usually whenever she was hurt or deeply upset. "Sit down."

"No…"

"He's…" Jessie's voice cracked as her arms snaked around Tifa from behind to pull her back. "Tifa… he's gone."

Gone? Cloud wasn't gone, he was right there! What's worse, he was slowing dying because none of their so called 'friends' were helping him!

"Let… me… go!" Tifa had no clue where she got the burst of strength from, but it had been enough. With a push, she shoved the unprepared Jessie back into the barstool, and knocked an equally unready Biggs aside so she could reach Cloud.

"It's going to be okay." Tifa felt a tear welling up in her eye as she cupped Cloud's cheek in her hand. "I'm going to patch you up, just like we used to, and you're going to be fine."

"He's…"

"Shut up, Barret!" Tifa yelled over her shoulder. "He's not dead!"

"He's not breathin', Tifa." Biggs sounded like it physically hurt to say the words.

"Of course, he's brea…" Tifa only then noticed that they were right. There was no rise and fall in Cloud's chest, he just lay there on the bar, still and unmoving like a cor…

Terror flaring up to new heights, Tifa's fingertips rushed to Cloud's neck in search of a pulse like she'd done earlier.

Nothing.

No. No. No no no no.

Cloud wasn't dead, he couldn't be! Tifa had already lost Aerith, she would not lose Cloud!

Right then, Tifa had a strange sensation pass through her body. She'd never felt it before, but it was almost as if she felt something deep within her mind snap and… break.

"He just needs patched up." Tifa's lips raised in a near manic smile. "Come on, Cloud's bounced back from worse than this."

"Uhh…" Barret was looking more than a little freaked out. "You um… feelin' okay there Ti…"

"Don't worry, Cloud." Tifa caressed Cloud's cheek like she'd done so many times in the last couple months. "We'll have you right as rain before you know it."

"Tifa, maybe you need to lie down." Jessie's hand found Tifa's shoulder again, but the other woman didn't even feel the contact. "We know you haven't been sleeping very…"

"Nope! Don't need sleep." Tifa cheerfully announced before leaning down to give Cloud a quick kiss on the lips. "Once we finish getting Cloud all fixed up, I'll take a nap."

"You can't…" Biggs made the mistake of grabbing hold of the wrist Tifa was using to hang onto Cloud.

"Let go of me, Biggs." Tifa's face morphed into a glare ten times the power of the one he'd gotten not too long ago. Biggs was caught so flat footed, he couldn't move. "Are you going to stop me from helping Cloud?"

"I just think you need to…" Biggs didn't get to finish before Tifa's fist collided with his face.

"Whoa, whoa!" Jessie tried to intervene but all she got for her trouble was a kick to the shin, followed by second blow that knocked her flat on her back.

"Stay away from him!" Tifa screeched like a cornered animal, planting herself in front of Cloud's body while dropping into a fighting stance. Once she dealt with the three of them, then she could see to Cloud's wounds without distractions.

"Take it easy, girl." Barret took a cautious step forward his hand held up like he was approaching some dangerous or feral creature. A description not too far off the mark. "We 're not gonna hurt you."

"We're all friends, here." Jessie had regained her feet, but didn't dare take another step closer for fear of reprisal.

"I'll be with you in a minute, Cloud." Tifa grinned over her shoulder toward Cloud, making the mistake of taking her eyes off the other three members of Avalanche. "Just as soon as…"

With her reflexes dulled, Tifa was unable to react in time when Barret, Jessie, and Biggs rushed her all at once.

"Lemme go!" Tifa roared as she kicked and thrashed, but in her weakened state, she was no match for them all at the same time. "Lemme go, now!"

"That's enough, Tifa!" Barret held her in a bearhug, feet fully off the ground and her arms pinned to her sides. She continued to flail about, legs kicking at Barret wildly, but his strength was beyond anything she could summon.

It took considerable effort on her part, but she managed to wiggle her arms free from Barret's. Yet, when she punched him, he didn't seem able to feel it. A second hit, followed by a third, it didn't matter. Her blows were completely ineffective. The weariness that seeped into her very bones that she managed to push past would no longer be denied.

"Cloud!" Tifa wailed at the top of her lungs while Barret dragged her from the room, her hands reaching for the man on the bar slowly getting further and further away. "Cloud! CLOUD!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say, other than it gets much darker here.
> 
> Enjoy.

"Slow. Easy now." Barret spoke gently, far gentler than Jessie could ever remember him speaking, as they lowered the white sheet wrapped body into the hole.

"We gotcha, Cloud." Wedge was so quiet that Jessie's ears almost missed it.

It was all Jessie could do to not jump over and help Barret, Wedge, and Biggs. She sincerely wished she could, but she had another job of her own to do here. One having to do with the woman she was currently holding on to. One arm around her, the other clutching tightly to her wrist.

Jessie avoided looking at Tifa when she could, choosing instead to watch her from the corner of her eye. She was… hard to look at, to put it bluntly. It might have been the near deathlike stillness, or the empty thousand-yard stare coming from her glassy and hollow eyes. Jessie had never seen Tifa so lifeless. In fact, Jessie wasn't entirely sure if she would walk or move under her own power without direction.

For the record, this wasn't that much better than the version of Tifa from the other day. While Jessie had seen her fair share of craziness, triply so since joining Avalanche, that didn't hold a candle to the sheer madness Tifa devolved into.

It had taken forever to convince Tifa that Cloud was indeed dead, until then, she'd been wild, crazed, even. Snarling and spitting curses at all of them that they were not going to get in her way of saving Cloud, that she didn't want to hurt them but would if they didn't step aside. During that time, she wasn't Tifa, anymore. Merely a berserk madwoman wearing her face.

The worst was those carmine eyes. Jessie had a good look at them while Tifa was beating the crap out of her and Biggs. Just thinking about the sheer depths of madness she saw in them almost made her shiver.

What Jessie had seen, didn't even seem human, anymore.

While she avoided when she could, Jessie did have to occasionally look over to make sure Tifa was about to try something. She didn't seem like she was planning anything, her mind probably in too many pieces for much higher thought, but Jessie was better safe than sorry. She wouldn't have put it past Tifa to suddenly leap into the grave after Cloud, or start another spiel when they started shoveling dirt about how Cloud won't be able to breathe if they bury him.

It might have finally sunk into Tifa's brain that Cloud really was gone.

Once the body was down and the hole filled with fresh dirt, something Barret insisted on helping with, despite only having the one hand, Wedge and Biggs worked together to drive the Buster Sword into the ground as something of a grave marker.

This was what Cloud insisted on, after all. For his body to be buried within the church where he'd properly first met Aerith. Jessie figured he was looking for the next best thing to being buried with the girl herself. She'd seen that kind of thing before.

Apparently, the mercenary had left instructions for what would happen if he died prematurely. Jessie wasn't surprised, he seemed like the kind of person to be ready for something like this. More surprisingly, was that it was Barret he'd entrusted the details to. Then again, while the two might have butted heads almost constantly, no one could deny the two men's respect for each other.

Cloud had left two letters, to be read in the event of his death. The first, covered what to do with his body, as well as his worldly possessions, in addition to a number of parting words for each of them. Poor Wedge took hours to stop his crying after hearing his.

The second letter, no one knew what was on it. It had been addressed to Tifa, and Tifa only. Jessie wasn't sure if the woman had even read it yet. She wasn't exactly in her right mind currently.

Their grim task done, everyone stood there, unsure what to do now. Usually someone said something at a time like this, but nobody felt like speaking. There wasn't much that could be said, anyway.

Barret cleared his throat, but hesitated for a long moment. When he finally recovered, he spoke what sounded an awful lot like a prayer Jessie had heard once from that flower girl, Aerith.

He barely made it a single verse before Tifa burst into a fresh round of sobs and cries, collapsing to the floor. Jessie was already following her down onto her knees, arms flying around her friend.

Barret winced hard, but finished nonetheless.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life without Cloud continued on, as it often did when a loved one passed on. Jessie wouldn't lie, she missed the blonde merc, they all did. They'd lost comrades before, so they each trekked onward in their own way.

All except for Tifa.

"Hey, Marle!" Jessie greeted the elder landlady with her customary smile, not quite as bright as before, but she tried.

"Ah, Jessie." Marle didn't have to say it aloud for Jessie to know something was up.

"How bad?" Jessie's face fell instantly, eyes lifting to the first apartment at the top of the stairs.

"Bad." Marle's own gaze followed Jessie's. "I… don't know what to do, anymore."

"None of us do." Jessie sighed. "I thought she just needed a little time, but…"

"A broken heart is a pain like no other." Marle said wistfully. "And hers was broken twice."

Jessie nodded in understanding as she began the climb up the stairs. Each intensified the knots twisting in Jessie's stomach. There was no telling what she was going to find up there, she just hoped it wasn't as bad as some of the last times.

Standing before Tifa's door, Jessie raised her fist to knock. Just before her hand made contact, she froze. What was she even going to say? 'Hey, there, Tifa! Just wanted to check up on you to make sure you're not hurting yourself, again!'

"Stop being such a chicken, girl." Jessie pinched the bridge of her nose before whacking the door, a little harder than she probably should have but a knock was a knock.

After a few seconds, Jessie was about to knock again when the door opened. She had time to blink before someone from within grabbed her and yanked her inside.

"Jessie!" Tifa cheerfully exclaimed, pulling the visiting woman into a hug, her words punctuated by hiccups. "I'm so… happy to see… you!"

"Uhh… Tifa?" Jessie awkwardly patted her friend's back when the scent of Tifa's putrid breath made her nearly gag. "Are you drunk?"

"Nooo…" Tifa slurred her words, her body swaying unsteadily. "N… noope!"

"You're drunk." Jessie sighed. Well, it was better than most of the other nightmares Jessie had envisioned. At least Tifa was a happy and handsy drunk and not a violent one, most of the time.

Jessie could actually count on one hand the number of times she'd seen Tifa heavily drunk and still have fingers to spare. Ironically for someone working as a bartender, or maybe because of, Tifa rarely drank much. Also ironic was how good the woman was at holding her liquor. Sheesh, she must have had a lot this time.

Jessie took some solace in the fact that Tifa seemed content to drink herself into oblivion. But this begged the question, how much longer until she went looking for something harder? Jessie was no idiot, she knew they had drug pushers here in the slums, the bastards were all over Midgar. It was only going to be a matter of time before Tifa sought one of them out, and in doing so opened a new can of worms for them to deal with.

"How much did you drink, Tifa?" Jessie attempted to guide Tifa over to the bed to sit, but drunk Tifa preferred to stand in the middle of the room while she tried to ponder the answer.

"N… not sure…" Tifa stumbled a little on the carpet. "Nawt much…"

"Uh huh." Jessie was looking at the number of bottles sitting beside her friend's bed. There was way too many to be healthy. "Not much, eh?"

"Yup!" Tifa giggled before she almost fell on her face. Jessie caught her in time before she could, though. "Whoops."

"Okay, bedtime, missy." Yes, it was only one in the afternoon, but Tifa needed to sleep this off.

"I don't wanna." Tifa wailed like a child as Jessie literally dragged her over to the bed.

"Lay down, and I'll get you a drink."

"Okay!" In the blink of an eye, Tifa was nestled comfortable under the covers with her back to the headboard.

She wasn't struggling this time, so that was a plus.

"Sit tight." Jessie patted Tifa on her blanket covered thigh before walking over to the sink.

Jessie was able to find a clean glass, well, mostly clean. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw how the place was still a mess. Not a trash and filth mess, more like a disorganized mess.

In the day following Cloud's funereal, Tifa had stopped leaving her apartment. That was when they first found her drunker than they'd ever seen. They'd tolerated it a few days, but when she showed no signs of stopping, they confiscated all of her alcohol while she was passed out.

In hindsight, not their wisest judgement call.

Tifa proceeded to go on a rampage, smashing and breaking everything she could find in the apartment. Not even the walls, doors, or ceiling were spared her onslaught. Jessie and the others calmed her down and cleaned up, but when they took her booze again, the process just repeated.

Now, they let Tifa drink to her heart's content. Was it the best thing to do? Probably not, but they were all flying by the seat of their pants, here. Nobody knew what to do other than give Tifa time to work through it, but that seemed to be only making things worse.

Filling the glass at the sink, Jessie's nose wrinkled in disgust. The filter on her water needed changing. In Tifa's inebriated state, Jessie doubted she'd notice, but it still needed to be done. She'd have to swing by the bar to pick one up.

"Drink up." Jessie brought the glass back and handed it to Tifa.

When Tifa raised the glass, Jessie's eye was drawn to the bandage on her arm. It was clean, and not bloody or dingy, so Tifa was changing it like she was surpassed to. It might not seem like much, but it was some of the only progress on the road to recovery Jessie had seen in what felt like forever. Hopefully, the one on Tifa's leg was being taken care of just as well.

Tifa refused to talk about it, but Jessie had her fears the wounds were self-inflicted. She could have easily done it during one of her tantrums, but with Tifa so unstable right now, Jessie wasn't about to discount self-harm.

The urge to throw up still came every once in a while when Jessie remembered how she and Biggs found Tifa on the floor bleeding heavily after one of her episodes. It ranked right up there in her most horrible memories right alongside Tifa bringing Cloud's lifeless body back to sector 7.

Out of fear that Tifa was hurting herself, they'd taken all the sharp objects while Tifa wasn't looking.

One sip into the glass of water and Tifa spat it out. "Bleh!"

"Smell that bad?"

"Water." Tifa spoke the word slowly, like she wanted to make sure Jessie understood it. "It's… water."

"Yeah? We do drink the stuff."

Tifa's face morphed into visible revulsion.

"Oh, no." Jessie glared at the woman, already predicting what she was planning. "Drink it, now."

Tifa moved like she was about to dump it over the side of the bed onto the floor, but stopped herself at the last second. Jessie liked to think her friend was finally listening to reason, but there was no telling these days. She looked like it physically hurt to do so, but Tifa downed the whole thing in a single swig.

"Good, girl." Jessie smiled her approval before taking the glass to deposit back on the sink.

"Think I'm gonna run and get you a new fil…" Jessie didn't bother finishing when she heard the quiet snores coming from the bed.

Looking over at the sleeping Tifa, Jessie heaved another sigh. She looked so peaceful and relaxed during the rare times she slept. It was almost easy to forget how utterly broken and damaged she was.

With Tifa asleep, Jessie tiptoed out of the apartment, closing the door behind her.

"How's our girl doin'?" Biggs asked when Jessie returned to the bar.

"Drunk." Jessie sighed, something she was doing way too much of, lately. "Again."

"Where does she keep getting it?" Wedge scratched his head from his seat at the bar. "I keep double checking the stuff here and it's all accounted for."

"No clue." Jessie slipped around the counter to rummage beneath it. "But I do know her filter needs swapping. Maybe she'll drink less booze if the water doesn't smell so bad."

"Considering how bad the water gets, I don't blame her." Biggs chuckled from where he was cleaning glasses.

With Tifa out of commission, Avalanche had taken it upon themselves to run the bar in her stead. Between all of them, they could cook well enough, but their attempts to duplicate Tifa's cocktails was… less than stellar. Nobody complained, yet.

"Guys…" Jessie hated when Wedge sounded like that. A jolly man like him had no business sounding so grim. "What are we going to do? This can't go on forever."

"I think it might be time to…"

"No way, Jess." Biggs cut the woman off. "We said we weren't going to do that."

"You got a better idea?" Jessie shot back. "We can't help her like this. She's getting worse!"

"So your solution is to just lock her up?"

"You and I both know it isn't like that, Biggs." Jessie also hated when they argued, but this topic had come up numerous times since Tifa's descent into… whatever it was she was doing. Depression? Insanity? All of the above? "She needs professional help, and that sure as hell isn't us."

"But, Shinra?" Biggs rubbed his temples. "Come on, Jess!"

"Barret said Reeve is trustworthy." Jessie never met the man himself, but if Barret said a guy was trustworthy, that was more than enough for her. The fact that he was once a bigshot on Shinra's board of directors gave her pause, but again, Barret vouched for him. "He'll know a place we can take Tifa to get some real help."

In reality, Jessie was growing desperate enough to try damn near anything.

"I don't know." Biggs flopped down into a stool beside Wedge. "I don't like it."

Biggs was being protective, Jessie would never, ever, fault the man for that. He would prefer they take care of this in-house and among themselves, but they were way out of their league. He would come around once Jessie pleaded her case properly.

"Look..." Jessie put a hand on both men's shoulders. "Let's all meet up this evening, and we can talk it over with Tifa. Make a decision, then."

"I don't like it but…" Biggs made it plain from the start he didn't approve, but Jessie knew he would cave for Tifa's sake. "Yeah, we can chat about it. See what Barret says, too."

"Works for me." Jessie patted both men one last time before making her way to the door. "Be back in a wee bit once I get this installed."

On the walk back to Tifa's Jessie evaluated their options. The very idea of having Tifa committed made her sick to her stomach, but what else could they do? It would be incredible foolish to keep going as they were. They weren't helping, anymore. If anything, they might be making her worse by enabling some of her bad coping mechanisms, like the drinking.

Ugh… Tifa was never going to get better if they didn't get her the proper help. Jessie would just have to convince the others this was the right course of action.

First things, first…

"Tifa?" Jessie knocked softly before entering, thinking the other woman was probably asleep. Judging by the dark circles she'd seen beneath her eyes, she wasn't getting hardly any. The longer she napped, the better.

Strike one was the empty bed.

Strike two was the paper taped to the back of the door.

Strike three was the words written on the note.

"SHIT!" Jessie tore out of the apartment, nearly falling down the stairs in her haste.

The train, if Jessie's memorized times were still correct, it would be departing soon from the station.

"Hey, Jessie!" Wedge waved to Jessie, but he quickly figured out something was amiss when Jessie sprinted at them as fast as humanly possible.

"FOLLOW!" Jessie didn't even slow her stride. "EXPLAIN LATER!"

Biggs and Wedge neither hesitated, nor questioned, both men taking off to follow Jessie.

"No no no no!" Jessie could only stare in horror as the train departed the station just as she arrived. "NO! Damn it!"

"Jes…"

"Come on!" Jessie didn't want to make sure Wedge and Biggs were following, she didn't have the luxury of time for such things. "This way!"

"Can I help yo…" The man running the chocobo carriage was cut off by a borderline hysterical Jessie.

"Sector 5. Fast as possible." Jessie all but threw her wallet at him. "Price don't matter, keep change, whatever! Just hurry! Big emergency!"

"Uh… okay?" The driver was confused but Jessie was already jumping into the back, followed by Biggs and Wedge.

The carriage set off, not as fast as Jessie would have preferred, but this was the fastest way to travel baring the trains. If they had even the tiniest bit of luck, they might be able to either head Tifa off, or get there as soon as she did.

"Calm down, Jessie." Wedge took a seat in front of the woman. "Take a breath. Tell us what's going on."

Jessie fidgeted in her seat, screaming internally that they needed to move faster, but it was pointless. There was no more she could do save sit here and attempt in vain to calm her wildly pounding heart.

Instead of talking, Jessie all but shoved the note, which Jessie still held in her balled fist, into Wedge's face. The man took the mysterious paper and read it quickly. All the color drained from his face.

Biggs leaned over so he could read it as well.

"She's leaving." Jessie looked out the window of the carriage at the scenery zooming past.

"You don't think…" Wedge paused.

"The church." Jessie interrupted. "Where we buried Cloud. Aerith's church. That's where she's going, and where we'll find her."

Jessie wondered just how much of Tifa's drunkenness was an act this time. It was pretty damn convincing, that was for sure. No way she was as intoxicated as she appeared. Unless the note was written yesterday, or something. The handwriting was too neat.

Tifa must have been waiting for the opportune moment for this. That train would take Tifa directly to sector 5, but she'd have to hike the rest of the way to the church itself. Her injured leg would slow her down, along with her sleep deprivation, but Jessie would not be able to relax until they'd found her and brought her home safe and sound.

It wasn't often Jessie ponied up the gil for the carriages. They were not the smoothest rides, and they were sometimes pretty expensive, but it would take them too long to get to sector 5 on foot. Every second counted, right now.

When they got close enough, Jessie jumped from the moving carriage.

"Thank you!" Ignoring the fact she'd left her wallet with the driver, Jessie took off in the direction of the church. Wedge and Biggs would have to focus on keeping up on their own. She couldn't wait for them.

Out of breath, Jessie refused to slow until she was skidding to a stop at the doors of the church. Taking cover outside the doorway, she peered inside.

Oh, thank god.

Tifa was already here. The woman was kneeling at the flowers, fingertips tracing the small petals. As Jessie watched, Tifa shrugged a backpack off her shoulder and sat it down on the floor. Staggering to her feet, Tifa hobbled over to the sword sticking up from the ground and put her hand on the weapon's cross guard. Leaning down, she her head came to rest on the sword's pommel.

When Biggs and Wedge came up behind her, Jessie motioned for them to be quiet and take a spot on the opposite side of the doorway. She didn't miss the relief on their faces when they saw their wayward friend.

"Biggs." At Jessie's voice, the man snapped to attention. "Circle 'round back, me and Wedge will go in here. We have to get that bag away from her."

Biggs saluted and left to find another way inside.

"You with me, Wedge?" Jessie really didn't like when her fear leaked into her voice like that, but it couldn't be helped.

Wedge said nothing. He merely smiled and gave her a thumbs-up.

Right, show time.

"There you are, Tif!" Jessie bounded through the door first, cheerful smile on her face. "We've been looking for you all over."

"Had to get away for a bit." Tifa answered with a grin of her own. Tifa was trying hard to make sure it was as close to her normal one as possible. "Ya know?"

"Fresh air's always good." Wedge was at Jessie's side, similar smile plastered to his face. He added a laugh in for good measure. "Eh… fresh as it gets in the slums, anyway."

While they spoke, Jessie and Wedge slowly made their way closer. But it was like approaching one of Jessie's more volatile bombs. They had no idea when it might go off, or what could accidentally set it off.

"Don't think I ever noticed how pretty the flowers are here." Jessie had of course noticed them, but she needed to keep Tifa distracted.

"You never did care that much about flowers." Tifa again kneeled at the edge of the flowers to look closely at the petals.

"Not really." Jessie agreed with a giggle. "Might be time to expand my horizons a bit."

Jessie and Wedge were only a couple steps away now.

"Tifa…" Jessie began, all pretenses of humor and small talk gone.

"We're…" Wedge tried to talk, but he shut himself up when Tifa raised a finger over her shoulder, not even bothering to look at him.

"Don't." It was a single word, but Jessie and Wedge had never heard her say it in such a way.

"Just talk to us, before you do anything rash." Jessie begged, and that was something Jessie had never done in her life. "Please. You want me on my knees? I'll do it."

"Don't shut us out." Wedge supplied. "We want to help, you know that."

"I do." Tifa stood up, clapping her hands together to remove the dust. "And I'm telling you…" Tifa glanced behind her. "Don't."

"Sorry, Tifa." Jessie's voice caught in her throat. "You know we won't…"

"Can't." Wedge corrected."

"Can't." Jessie agreed with their fellow member of Avalanche. "We can't do that."

"Why can't you guys just…" Tifa growled, turned around.

It was the exact move they'd been waiting for.

Had Tifa's reflexes been up to snuff, had she not been severely sleep deprived and up to her normal standards, she'd have both heard the rapid footfalls and countered her assailant. Much like that day at the bar, Tifa was far from prepared.

Tifa heard his approach, but by the time she twirled about, Biggs had already tackled her to the floor.

"Get the bag!" Biggs yelled once he had Tifa pinned.

"Got it!" Wedge was already moving, surprisingly quick for a man of his size.

"No!" Tifa screamed and thrashed in an attempt to get Biggs off. His hold was strong, but he and Tifa both knew he had no chance to keep the martial artist restrained for long. Her rage was a powerful force once she really got it going.

Scooping up the backpack, Wedge retreated away from the tussling pair along with Jessie.

"Give it here." Jessie snatched the item away from Wedge. Her spirit sunk when she felt how light it was. Upon opening it and reaching inside, Jessie found it actually empty. No clothes, no provisions, no…

Wait… it wasn't empty. There was a single item at the bottom.

Jessie's eyes went wider than dinner plates when her hand closed around the familiar shape.

"Tifa…" Jessie choked on her words.

"What is…" Wedge's voice died in his throat, his eyes going even wider than Jessie's when she pulled the item out.

A pistol.

"What's…" Becoming momentarily distracted proved to be Biggs downfall, just as it was Tifa's. "Whoa!"

Tifa's head shot back, colliding with Bigg's face, momentarily stunning him. With Biggs dazed, he lost his grip on Tifa and an elbow flew back and caught him in the gut to also knock the wind out of him. It was child's play for Tifa to throw the larger man off her back and free herself. It had to hurt like hell, but Biggs had taken worse injuries in the past by roughhousing with the gang.

"You were…" Jessie struggled to speak. "You were going to…"

Jessie had been hoping beyond hope that Tifa was being literal about leaving in her note. She'd entertained the idea of Tifa… doing this, only in her darkest, most intense fears. Fears that Jessie forced down into the bottommost recesses of her mind with all the other dark thoughts.

"You're wrong." Wedge shook his head wildly, denying what was right in front of him. His optimism, unfortunately misguided this time, coming to the fore. It was going to take one hell of a hit before this day was out. "Tell her you weren't going to."

"It's my business, not yours." Tifa didn't bother denying, it wouldn't have worked, anyway.

"But… why?" Biggs wheezed from where he was trying to regain his feet. Yeah, he'd been in worse scrapes, didn't make it hurt any less.

"Why?" Tifa laughed, a hollow, cold, and almost crazed sound. "Why? You actually have to ask that?"

"Cloud and Aerith…"

"Don't you DARE say their names, Wedge." Tifa's eyes narrowed dangerously, tone dipping low into a near snarl.

"They wouldn't…"

"Shut up!"

"They wouldn't want you to do this!" Wedge simply yelled over Tifa when she tried to interrupt, much to Jessie's shock. He was usually so meek when Avalanche started screaming at each other. "Think about it for a sec!"

"I've thought enough." Tifa shot back.

"You guys won." Biggs finally managed to stand up, cradling his stomach where he'd been hit. "After everything, you guys did it. Sephiroth is dead, the world was saved!"

"And what did we get?" Tifa's anger deflated, replaced with a bitter sorrow, her carmine eyes glistening with new tears. "Aerith should be here, not me! Cloud should be here! Yes, we saved the world, and all we got for it was death! I can't take it, anymore. If Cloud and Aerith can't be here… I don't want to be here, either. This planet can burn for all I care!"

"Tifa!" Jessie couldn't believe her ears, it was unlike Tifa to say such things.

"And you know something else?" Oh no, Tifa was wearing that manic smile again. "If you would have told me Aerith and Cloud wouldn't have survived, I'd have let Sephiroth burn it all to the ground!"

"You don't mean that, Tifa." Biggs tried to be reassuring, but Tifa rebuked him.

"Oh, but I do." Tifa giggled, an inhuman, and just plain wrong, sound. "But it's over with now. All that's left to do, is join Cloud and Aerith."

"Not if we got somethin' to say about it." Wedge stepped forward, sounding braver than Jessie had ever seen him. She'd be cheering him on if she wasn't so terrified out of her mind at what her friend was becoming before their very eyes.

"You really think you can stop me?" Tifa shifted into her fighting stance, but her leg injury made her wobbly and off balance. Still, Jessie knew her rage could easily make up the difference.

"Probably not." Wedge confessed. "But you know I'm gonna try."

"Fine." Tifa sighed, head and shoulders slumping. "You all brought this on yourselves."

One second.

Two.

Three.

Tifa shot out at them like a rocket, catching poor Wedge completely off guard. Tifa's leg swung and her boot caught Wedge right in the gut, but he recovered oddly quickly and grabbed onto her foot before she could follow up. Using his grip, Tifa jumped, her other foot coming up to swat him across the face with a heavy kick.

Before Jessie even knew what was happening, Wedge was brutally taken down.

"Jess!" Biggs, on Tifa's far side, held his hands up in the air making a certain gesture. "Here!"

Catching on, Jessie hurled the backpack up and over Tifa's head into Biggs waiting grip. Just as Tifa charged him, he threw it back over Tifa to Jessie.

It was quite possibly the most twisted game of keep away Jessie ever imagined, but they had to keep the bag away from Tifa. At least until they could figure out a better plan of action.

Jessie tossed the bag once more, but to her horror, Tifa used one of the nearby pillars to spring off of, and snatch the thing out of the air.

"NO!" Throwing all caution to the wind, Jessie rushed Tifa.

All she received was a vicious jab for her trouble. Jessie had been punched many times, but she'd never been Tifa-punched, before. That was definitely a new one, and not one she'd like repeated.

Jessie saw stars, her world spinning, as she hit the floor. Despite her dizziness, she attempted to stand back up to rejoin the fight, but didn't make it far before falling again. Trying again led to the same result.

Damn, even at partial power, Tifa hit hard.

Looking up, Jessie caught sight of Biggs and Tifa wrestling for the backpack.

Biggs lacked the element of surprise this time, but Tifa's fatigue and injuries were taking their toll. She was slowing, enough for Biggs to fight the normally hyper-skilled woman on more equal footing. The bag regularly getting snapped up by one, only for the other to reclaim it shortly after.

"Sorry!" Biggs apologized after he landed a punch. "I don't wanna do this!"

An enraged Tifa swung another hook, but Biggs caught it with his arm, before following up with another punch aimed right for Tifa's face. Tifa's other hand came up to deflect the strike, but also grabbed onto his wrist. Twirling around, she made to throw Biggs over her shoulder. But with her strength waning, she couldn't do the move properly, leading to the two to tumble to the floor in a heap, instead.

"Give it back!" Tifa lunged for the pack yet again.

"Come and get it!" Biggs challenged, managing to get a hold of the strap before she could yank it out of reach.

The tug of war continued until Jessie heard the telltale sound of fabric ribbing as the backpack was torn in half, the gun falling out to clatter to the floor with a heavy echoing thump.

The combatant's eyes lingered on the torn item for a few second before both in unison looked down at the real prize.

Both jumped for the pistol and again crashed into each other.

"You… don't… want to do this!" Biggs grunted with exertion as he and Tifa wrestled over the gun, the barrel too dangerously close to both of their heads for Jessie's comfort.

"Yes… I do!" Tifa growled back, trying to point the weapon at herself, but Biggs was putting up too much of a fight for her to get a clear shot. "Just let me go!"

"No way!" Biggs snapped, seeming to gain his second wind as he began to pry the gun away from Tifa's fingers. Inch by inch, he pulled it away, despite her screams of protest.

"NO!" Fresh tears began cascading down Tifa's cheeks as she yelled. "You won't keep me from them! No one will, ever again!"

Jessie honestly wasn't sure if Tifa did it on purpose, or if it was an accident. Either way, the pistol went off, thank the planet in the air rather than in one of their heads. But the sudden shock of a gun being fired in his face caught Biggs off guard for a fraction of a second.

Long enough for Tifa to swing her leg up in a terribly effective kick right between Biggs' legs.

The blow was so hard, even Jessie felt it. Despite letting out a squeal of pain, he held on, but his momentum was shattered, and Tifa was at last able to wrestle the gun away and shove him off and to the floor.

Just in time for a recovered Jessie to leap onto Tifa from behind.

"Get off!" An exhausted Tifa thrashed about trying to dislodge Jessie, but the woman held on. It was still like trying to cling to a wild and feral chocobo at the rodeo.

Hands going for the gun like Biggs did, Jessie was quickly able to find her target. A swipe of the button with her fingers, and the weapon's magazine slit out and fell to the floor.

Biggs, still somewhat crippled and lying on the floor, lashed out with a kick of his own that sent the clip of ammunition skidding across the floor, and far away from Tifa and Jessie. Conveniently, right next to Wedge, who grabbed it and hurled it out one of the nearby windows.

That just left the final round in the chamber, but Tifa caught wind of Jessie's intentions and prevented her fingers from reaching the trigger while the muzzle was pointed away from them.

"Ow!" During the struggle, the pistol suddenly came flying back and whacked Jessie in the face. Between the pain, and the crunch sound, she knew her nose was broken, but more troublingly, her hold was dislodged, allowing Tifa to knock her off.

By the time Jessie was able to look up, she froze at the sight.

A shaking and crying Tifa stood before them, the muzzle of the pistol pointed right at her temple. Looking to the side, Jessie saw Biggs was standing, but he'd never be able to reach her before Tifa pulled the trigger. Wedge was also up, but in the same boat.

"S… stay back!" Tifa sobbed as she slowly backed away from the three of them toward the flower patch, the gun never leaving its deadly location. "Don't come any closer."

"Tifa, come on." Jessie urged, climbing to her feet with a groan and clutching her bleeding nose, her voice somewhat distorted by the injury. "You don't have to do this."

"Tifa… please…" Wedge, also holding his face and sporting a horrible black eye, pleaded.

"We'd go to the ends of the planet for you." Biggs held his hands up as he took a cautious few steps closer, only to stop when Tifa started to squeeze the trigger in her shaking hands. "Let your friends help."

"I… I…" Tifa stuttered, hands shaking even more violently. If she wasn't careful, she might shoot by accident. "I want it to be over… I don't wanna feel this, anymore…"

"Then let us help you." Jessie used her best gentle and soothing voice. It was Tifa's strong suit once upon a time, not hers. "We'd do anything."

"Anything?" For a few heartbeats, Jessie thought they'd finally gotten through to her.

"Anything." Jessie confirmed.

"Anything." Wedge nodded.

"Anything." Biggs affirmed.

"Then…" Tifa's eyes drifted closed as the shaking in her hand abruptly stopped. Her lips raised in a real, authentic smile. The first Jessie had seen since Cloud's death. "Then… you'll let me die."

"NO!"

"TIFA!"

"STOP!"

Bang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie, this was not supposed to be remotely this long. All I was trying to do was get from point A to point B but it just kept going and going. And yes, I said only two parts, but this proved to be so long, I had to split it up, plus it left a perfect spot for a chapter end.
> 
> Also yes, this was really dark and downright awful. Oddly reflective of my current mood, actually. And judging by the number of reviews/comments, I think the story itself was as terribly written as I felt it was. Either that, or people really don't want to read darker works, either way, sorry it's below my usual quality. At least it's almost over, one final chapter remains.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As stated before, this originally was only going to have two chapters, but after that incredibly long second chapter, I had to split it apart into a third. Plus, come on, that was a brutally perfect cliffhanger last chapter. Also, it is shorter, but again, it was supposed to be part of chapter 2.
> 
> Not sure how I feel about this chapter, but then again, I have that feeling about literally every work I have ever done.
> 
> Enjoy.

Tifa had often wondered what death would feel like, even before her entire world collapsed around her, if it felt like anything at all. Was there even a feeling, or was it just blank numbness? When she returned to the planet, would she be able to notice?

Seeing as how Tifa still didn't know what to expect, an endless field of flowers, with an equally endless blue sky overhead, didn't faze her all that much. Although, the sight of flowers normally left a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, but now…

Sitting up, Tifa marveled at how she felt, both physically and mentally. Gone was the exhaustion and fatigue that had plagued her so long. She felt strangely… at peace. Her memory was still clear, mostly, but for some reason the memories that had been haunting her endlessly didn't hurt so bad. Tifa honestly wasn't sure if she should be worried or relieved by this.

From the edge of her vision, Tifa caught sight of something that was missing. The bandages that wrapped her wrist and upper leg were both absent. Not just missing, the wounds they were hiding were nowhere to be found, either. Where there should have been deep cuts and gashes, now there was only smooth and unblemished skin.

Feeling along where the wound was with her fingers, Tifa stretched her leg out and bent it at the knee several times before twisting it back and forth in a sweeping motion. Her leg hadn't felt this healthy since before… everything. A quick repeat of the same exercises on her arm held the same result for that limb.

She was almost too scared to do it, but eventually, Tifa's fingertips went to her temple. She could still vividly recall the feeling of the cold steel of the pistol's muzzle pressing into her head. As with her arm and leg, where there should have been a horrible gaping wound, there was not a trace. No blood, no pain, nothing.

"You shouldn't be here, Tifa."

Tifa had barely gotten back to her feet when she heard the voice. She wasn't startled, but she was terrified to turn around and see the speaker. Terrified of the disappointment and planet knows what else she might find there, or if it was simply a mirage or trick of her grief-maddened mind.

Steeling every ounce of herself she could, Tifa forced herself to turn.

It was him, alright, that blonde and spiky hair alone was unmistakable, so too were those piercing mako eyes. Eyes that Tifa couldn't make herself meet with her own, no matter how hard she tried. Neither could she make herself approach him, despite how her body was screeching at the top of its metaphorical lungs to rush to him, to embrace him and not let go until the end of the universe.

"Tifa…"

"Am I dead?" Tifa found Cloud's boots suddenly very interesting.

"You're…" Cloud seemed to hesitate.

"Don't let this be another dream…" Tifa whimpered. "I don't think I can take another."

"This is real." Cloud dodged Tifa's first question. "Uh… sorta real."

"Geeze, Cloud." The second voice made Tifa's heart nearly stop. She hadn't heard it since… since… no… it couldn't be! "Why are you all the way over there? Can't you see she could use a hug?"

A pair of eerily familiar arms encircled Tifa's middle from behind to pull her close. Tifa was too deep in shock to move or even must a response beyond a silent gasp.

It felt like forever before Tifa was able to turn her head just enough to see those emerald orbs her heart longed for ever since that day. When she did, her body twirled around so fast that her head spun.

"Heya." Aerith greeted cheerfully, her arms still loosely wrapped around Tifa. "Long time no see."

"You… you're… you…" Words utterly failed Tifa in that moment, the connection between her mouth and brain becoming completely fried. "I… I…"

'Tifa, sweetie." Aerith's smile faded, replaced with pure concern. "Deep breaths."

Tifa hadn't noticed it but her breathing and become erratic and wild. If she didn't get it under control soon, she was going to hyperventilate. It was going to be that, or her heart was simply going to give out and stop with how wildly it was banging against her ribs.

"Take it easy. Breathe in." Cloud's hands appeared on Tifa's shoulders, and behind her she could hear him suck in a deep breath before releasing it a few seconds later. "Out."

Cloud repeated this a few more times, until Tifa was taking in deep lungfuls of air at the same time he was. After a number of tries, Tifa was able to calm that part of her body down, but it did little good for her overwhelmed brain and heart.

"This can't be a dream." Tifa spoke once she was able to muster the breath to do so. "I mean, I sh…" The words died in Tifa's throat when she remembered what she'd done in Aerith's church right in front of Jessie and the others.

"We know." Cloud sounded like someone had just punched him in the face.

"We saw…" There were no tears, but Aerith sounded like she was close with just those two words. Not just that, the look that passed over the former flower girl's face sent a lance of ice right through Tifa's heart. Tifa knew it was her that caused that, and it made Tifa despise herself even worse for making it so. "Everything."

"I'm sorry!" Tifa cried out, falling to her knees. Before she could, Aerith caught her beneath the arms and Cloud held her by the hips. Together, the pair lowered Tifa down to the ground. Tifa's arms came to wrap around Aerith's middle, her face buried into the fabric of her dress over the younger woman's stomach. "I'm so so sorry!"

"Shh…" Aerith cooed, her fingers soothingly running through the dark strands of Tifa's hair, her nails occasionally massaging her scalp. "It's okay, Tifa."

"It's not!" Fresh tears began to flow once again, creating a wet spot in Aerith dress. Something the standing woman didn't, or pretended not to, notice.

"You hear her, it's okay." Cloud was kneeling behind Tifa, his forehead coming to rest between her shoulder blades. "If anyone, it's our fault."

"How could it possibly be your…"

"Maybe if we'd tried harder while reaching out to you." Aerith's fingers never once stopped their work, but her words had Tifa looking up to face those terribly beautiful eyes. "We could have done more…"

"You tried your best, Aerith." Cloud's arms wound tightly around Tifa's waist. "We both did."

"I don't understand." Tifa looked over her shoulder before shifting back to Aerith.

"From the moment I…" Aerith stopped before uttering the last word, but soldiered on before too long, "died, I tired to reach out to both of you from here. It didn't work very well, at first."

"She was still learning how to do it." Cloud added.

"Right. Maybe if I wasn't only half Cetra, or maybe if you two were Cetra, things might have gone smoother." Aerith continued. "It was really hard during the day, but at night? While you slept? Much easier."

"Remember how we both had dreams of Aerith so often, Tifa?"

"Yeah?" Tifa certainly remembered them, but also how horrible they made her feel by waving what she wanted most in her face with no hope of ever having it. There were few torments more painful than that.

"They weren't dreams." Aerith sighed. "That was me, calling out to you."

"You mean…"

"Aerith has been with us the whole time, Tifa, we just didn't know it was her."

The realization struck Tifa like meteor itself had landed right on her head. The one thing she wanted most was indeed being waved front of her face, but Tifa had been assuming her own mind was playing tricks on her, tormenting her and tearing away at her sanity. She never would have dared imagine it was real, and not an illusion.

"It got better once I got here." Cloud continued on. "We worked together. Well, it was easier on our end, but…"

"We both called out to you, again and again. You weren't very responsive, because…" Aerith's unspoken words hung heavy in the air, but she didn't have to say them for Tfia to know exactly what she was talking about.

'If you hadn't been drunk out of your gourd constantly you might have heard and understood.'

'If you hadn't run away screaming every time you dreamed of us, you would have realized we were right beside you all along.'

"Oh, god." Tifa felt like vomiting. A diagnosis her body agreed with judging by how she abruptly started dry heaving. She scrambled away from Cloud and Aerith so she wouldn't throw up on either of them. "Oh, god. I think I'm going to be sick…"

Tifa's traitorous mind couldn't help imagining Cloud and Aerith watch the debacle that happened in the church. The pair screaming for her to stop while Tifa put the gun to her own head. Oh, god… they watched the whole thing!

Aerith said nothing, she was already diving down to take up a position at Tifa's side, one hand holding hers while her other rubbed comforting circles into her lower back. Cloud was on the opposite side, holding Tifa's second hand while his spare rubbed similar circles into her upper back.

"What have I done…" Nothing came up, but Tifa still felt and tasted the bile in her throat.

"It's okay." Aerith reassured, her head finding a perch on Tifa's shoulder. "I keep telling you it's alright. Let it all out."

"I'm sorry!" Tifa wailed again, tears welling up in her eyes while she gripped the two hands like it was the only thing holding her afloat in a storm. "I wasn't… I… I couldn't…"

"Shh…" Aerith ran her fingers lovingly through Tifa's hair as she shushed her once more. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Tifa."

"She's right." Cloud fingers traced along Tifa's spine, something he'd learned she found relaxing during their time together after Aerith's death. She could already feel some of the tension draining away. "We're not mad or upset."

"Never could be with you, Tifa."

"But I…" Tifa couldn't say the words aloud.

'But I killed myself.'

Cloud spoke from Tifa's side. "While we don't like seeing you so soon…"

"We are happy to see you, anyway. Yeah, call us selfish." Aerith kissed away a couple stray tears that managed to escape, each point of contact warming Tifa's skin considerably. "And what's done is done, no point shilly-shallying about it."

"Tifa." Cloud lightly grazed her skin with a fingernail to catch her attention. "Is there anything you'd like to tell Aerith?"

"Yeah." Aerith's lips raised in a fond knowing smile, like she knew exactly what Cloud was talking about. "Anything at all? I'm all ears."

"I wouldn't know where to start…" Tifa really didn't. Despite how often Aerith had been in her thoughts, now that she was here before her, she didn't know how to say what she wanted to say.

"The beginning is always a good place." There were those damn green eyes again. Dear planet, the things those did to Tifa's insides…

"Think she might need some help, Aerith." Tifa could almost hear the smirk in Cloud's voice. "Remember how I was when I got here?"

"Ah, yes." Aerith giggled. "And I think the same solution is needed here. Tifa, look at me."

"Uhh…"

"Please?"

Aerith's voice, always so earnest and kind, was impossible for Tifa to disobey.

The instant Tifa's gaze met Aerith's, Tifa was hooked. Those eyes, so full of warmth and fondness, had her totally enthralled. Before she even knew it was happening, Tifa was leaning forward toward the flower girl.

It took Tifa's brain a few long seconds to process what was happening, but when it did, several things registered all at once. Firstly, was Aerith's fingers tangling in Tifa's dark tresses, the second was her hand lovingly caressing her cheek before gently cupping it. The third and final thing was the sensation of Aerith's soft lips pressed against hers.

All thoughts and memories fled Tifa in that instant like water from a leaky bucket. The entire world consisted of just her and Aerith for what felt like an eternity. Unfortunately, as with all great things, nothing lasts forever.

When Aerith finally pulled away, with much reluctance and a whine from Tifa, Tifa recalled that, yes, humans do have to breathe, and she might have almost suffocated both of them if Aerith hadn't been the responsible one.

"Wow…" Aerith giggled while Tifa could only gape at her while trying to come to terms with what just happened. "She has that same look on her face as you did, Cloud!"

Oh, crap. Tifa just made out with another girl while her boyfriend was literally a couple inches away…

"Oh, don't worry." Tifa hadn't seen Cloud smile in so long, it warmed her heart considerably to see it now. "Aerith and I already had a chat about this."

Tifa was gently pushed to lean back a little so that Aerith had room to lean over her and give Cloud a kiss on the lips with every bit as much passion as her kiss with Tifa.

One would think Tifa would be jealous watching the girl she loved kissing the boy she also loved, but that wasn't it at all. Watching them together made Tifa strangely… happy. Like this was how things were meant to be, like all was right in this crappy world for once.

"What… is this, exactly?" Tifa knew one shouldn't look a gift chocobo in the mouth but... yeah, the phrase 'too good to be true' was coming to mind, right now.

"Whatever we want it to be." Aerith shrugged nonchalantly, like she hadn't just blown Tifa's thought processes away with a single kiss. "You both want me, and I want you both, is there really much more we need to say?"

As much as Tifa wanted to say or ask more about this, something else was gnawing at her.

"So, what happens now?" Tifa's thoughts turned back to the present, specifically, wherever this was they were sitting. "What is this place?"

"Oh, umm…" Cloud pondered for a moment. "How did you put it, Aerith?"

"Think of this like an… in-between place. From here, we return to the planet." Aerith motioned around them with her arms.

Tifa thought about it for a moment. "Why are you two still here? Shouldn't both of you have returned by now?"

"Oh, that's easy." Aerith's beaming smile returned. "I refused to go."

"Same." Cloud supplied.

"Why?"

"Why?" Aerith acted mock offended Tifa would ask such a question. "I flat out said no, not yet. I would not go until both of you joined me. Hopefully, many, many years from now."

"Sor…"

"No more of that, Tifa." Aerith silenced her with a finger to her lips, followed up by a quick kiss. "We're all here now, so none of that matters, anymore."

Cloud took Tifa's hand in his and laced their fingers together before giving it a tight squeeze before standing up. "It's time we got going, isn't it, Aerith?"

"Yup!" Aerith did the same with Tifa's other hand and she and Cloud both pulled Tifa to her feet. "Time to go."

Just as Aerith finished the sentence, there was a white flash and a shimmering shape appeared before the three of them. Tifa was oddly reminded of that time the three of them entered the portal to face down The Arbiters of Fate once and for all.

"What's on the other side?" Tifa couldn't help feeling a little apprehension.

"No clue." Cloud must have sensed how Tifa's felt, because his hand gave hers another reassuring squeeze, one she returned just as tightly.

"Notta one." Aerith cheerily skipped forward a step, but not too far for fear of losing Tifa's hand. "Whaddya guys, say? Up for another adventure?"

"With you two?" Cloud smiled another of those rare Cloud smiles. "Always."

Tifa pulled both hands close to press them into her cheeks before smiling so wide and hard, it almost made her jaw hurt. "Now that we're back together, I can do anything."

Together as one, hand in hand, the trio took the final step into whatever awaited them in the beyond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that a happy ending? I suppose that depends on the reader. One person's happy ending is another person's bittersweet ending, and so on. Either way, I'm sure everyone (myself included) is glad to see this one finished.
> 
> Also, I wanted to thank everyone who leaves reviews/comments. As some people might have realized by now, I use writing fanfiction (among other things) as something of a therapy for heavy depression. That is exactly why reviews/comments are so valuable to me because they're always things I'm desperate to hear in life that I almost never do. So, thank you to everyone reading, especially those who stuck with this little horror, here.
> 
> I'll confess, I was going to do this as my last Final Fantasy VII work (at least maybe until part 2 comes out). But after reading some of the reviews/comments, I've decided to keep going a while longer with a few more works. And before anyone says a word, yes, they'll be much happier and upbeat ones like I've been writing thus far. Nothing remotely dark like this. These include a longer multichapter story as well as maybe (I stress MAYBE) an M or E rated chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone asks, yes, this is only the first part. I have the second part already partially written because I was going to do it all at once, but it's proving long enough to split up, instead. Let me know what you all think.


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